Saturday, December 30, 2023
Predictions 2024!
It's that time of year... Unforeseen Contingencies reveals "our" forecasts and prognostications for the new year!
We've been lax in getting these up the last few years; the staff of the Forecasting and Prediction desk have been goofing off, ever since being discombobulated by the 2020 election shenanigans. While their claim that when authorities behave chaotically it's too hard to make conditional predictions has some merit, that doesn't get them out of work. We've been able to get the desk up and running again (appropriate application of electrical shocks and a small horse whip work wonders) (mild electrical shocks). Thus the Official Unforeseen Contingencies Predictions for 2024!
1. Israel will conquer all of Gaza and destroy Hamas.
OK, the desk is starting up gradually with an easy one. It could have been "the sun will raise on January 1," so let's not complain. They are trying.
Israel must destroy Hamas. Hamas has vowed more and bigger October 7 attacks. Israelis must exterminate Hamas entirely. For a "hit" on this prediction it's sufficient that Israel completely conquer Gaza. Certainly some Hamas members will escape (especially the billionaire leaders) and claim the organization lives, but it will cease to exist as a terrorist army.
Now the predictions become difficult. As "the desk" points out, there is much chaos in the world. But here goes...
2. Donald Trump will receive the Republican nomination for President and will be on the ballot in all fifty states.
There are two criteria to be met here for a hit. It is possible that Mr. Trump will not be the nominee, but if so that will be owing to some sort of skullduggery that will outrage Republican voters. If the skullduggery is perpetrated by the administrative state or Democrats, and the GOPe refuses to go to war* over it, Republican voters will desert the GOPe. It will be even worse if the GOPe perpetrates it.
I should add that I'm not sure Donald Trump would make the best president among the candidates -- DeSantis and Ramaswamy both have potential. None of the three are perfect, but all three defend individual liberty and all three oppose the administrative state and think it's a menace to America and liberty. Obviously Nikki Haley and Chris Christie utterly fail on both counts.
3. The Democrats will sweep the 2024 elections, taking Presidency, House, and Senate.
Ugh. This will be a disaster for America and the world. But here's the unpleasant truth: the GOP has done next to nothing to address mass mailing of ballots, ballot harvesting, opaque tabulation practices, and other fraud. The Dems excelled at these in 2020 and have four years to perfect their operations. The Biden administration has mobilized the Federal bureaucracy to "get out the vote," and they've imported millions of illegals, a number of whom will vote (illegally). We have no serious checks on the integrity of voting; there will be massive cheating. That brings us to our next prediction...
4. Massive fraud in the 2024 elections.
It's hard the specify "hit" criteria here, because fraud is by nature secret, and when it is charged, it's contested. But it was plenty evident in 2020 for those not in denial, and it will be more obvious in 2024. I suppose I must add, the fraud will be perpetrated by Democrats. There might even be a small potatoes incident of Republican fraud staged, just to distract the confused.
5. Ukraine will not be conquered by Russia. The war will continue up through the end of 2024.
American news writers and commentators have recently been suggesting Ukraine will be defeated soon. This is nonsense, spun by people abroad who work out in their heads how everything will go, based on no understanding of the issues and no evidence. Ukrainians are unwilling to be exterminated and unwilling to submit to the Russian yoke. Russia still has much blood to lose. Hence the war will continue.
6. Joe Biden will be the Democrat nominee for President.
We're going out on a limb here, since his dementia and declining health is obvious. But the willingness of the feds, the Dems, and the MSM to lie about the obvious, and the gullibility/willingness to be deceived of the Dem voters trumps this. I sometimes joke that he could pass away and they'd still run him, they could just prop him up and play recordings and claim he's speaking, à la Andropov or Chernenko. Regardless, I think Brandon will run again.
7. Israel goes to war with Hezbollah (and wins).
I don't mean fighting of the sort we're seeing now. Hezbollah is committed to the complete destruction of Israel, just as Hamas was. Hezbollah has far more firepower than Hamas, and Israel must deal with this existential threat. Sooner, before Hezbollah can unleash its full power in a coordinated attack, is better than later. I think the Israelis are realizing this.
Hopefully the Iranian mullahs are in danger too.
Next, something new for Unforeseen Contingencies... our Conditional Predictions!
Conditional on 2 being true and 3 false with respect to the presidential elections...
8. Donald Trump wins. Massive riots and rebellion by federal administrative agencies follow. And that will just be the beginning of the fun. Think attacks by China, Russia, and Iran, including by the operatives they've sent in across our open borders.
9. Whitmer for President. Biden does not run (6 is false), withdrawing for health or similar reasons. Gretchen Whitmer will step in and run. Why Whitmer and not Gavin Newsom? Newsom seems to really want to run the show. The people running the presidential administration will not want to give up power, hence they'll prefer a team player who will be subservient. That describes Whitmer to a T. She can pose as a moderate and as a woman she'll appeal to fans of identity politics. It will be Witchmer 2024. (All the talk of Michelle "Mike" Obama is just fantasy football politics.
Back to unconditioned predictions:
10. The discovery of extraterrestrial life will be officially announced. This is no longer a "wild card" prediction. Bet on it!
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*Figuratively. Calm down, feds.
